Midir the other half

Daiyousei, or better said, the fairy known as Daiyousei has a secret, a secret she keeps from everyone. Every time she feels down she goes home and dresses up as Kazami Yuuka, she curls her hair using rollers and puts on clothes exactly like hers, she flies around the house acting entitled and sits to have a cup of tea, then tosses the teacup on the ground and complains about the quality of it.

A few of those times she goes outside with some gold coins, gold coins she gets from Larva and expends them on flowers and desserts in the human village. It is not the fear humans show towards her, but the respect, the way they see her is entirely different. Even those who had dealt with Yuuka personally, such as Kasen or Reimu, do not notice the difference, of course they would not, there is no difference in their face, just the eye color, and even that is not entirely true. Daiyousei could also use magic to turn her eyes red, then her and Yuuka would look just the same, just as how Yuuka turned her eyes green at times to make herself look less intimidating, something that of course, did not work.

Nobody looked down on her, even when she was sitting down, physically people would not look at her directly unless she looked at them first. Daiyousei at first did it for just a few minutes, Cirno flew away scared the time she showed up dressed like that. Daiyousei was actually afraid someone would come to attack her, so she returned home and dressed again as herself.

Though with time, Daiyousei realized that she could go out dressed like that and nobody would even attempt to harm her. Suika or Yuugi had met her in that form, though when they tried to punch her in the shoulder “lightly” to test her strength all she had to do was glare at them with a serious expression. Even the big Deva of the mountain would prefer to laugh at their own actions than probably bothering the Sleeping terror.

She met Aya one day, taking pictures while she drank tea, Daiyousei boldly asked “How tall am I?”

“About 1.80m I imagine” she said then continued working, Aya did not lie, she indeed saw Yuuka as that tall, when in fact Yuuka was about as tall as Daiyousei. She did not even try to change her voice, she spoke normally, yet Aya did not hear any difference in the voice, even when Wriggle or Rumia told her that her voice was more acute than Yuuka’s.

Physically there was no difference between them both, Daiyousei had the same height, the same voice, the same hair, though people could not help it but think of Yuuka as an entirely different person. Daiyousei loved that feeling, not being Yuuka, but being respected, being treated with such care, she had to often overpay restaurants, her endorsement was more than what they could ask for.

After the fairy wars, Daiyousei felt particularly depressed, everyone had ignored her in the entire affair. She was just seen as another fairy while Cirno got all the attention. She wanted to be seen as someone important again, so she got dressed as Yuuka and walked out of her home to the human village.

She went and bought herself a big bouquet of flowers, so big that she even doubted she could carry it, of course she made sure to pay the florist well, after all she was not a thief, Yuuka may get mad at the idea of Daiyousei dressing up as her, but she would be livid to hear that she ruined her image.

An elven child approached Daiyousei and tugged at her skirt. She turned around to see him, then gave him a couple of flowers. Then continued without uttering a word, though he did not let her go. With tears on his eyes he dropped the flowers to kneel before her. “Please help me!” he cried out “We cannot stand it anymore, we need you!”

Daiyousei gave him a coy smile “Child I cannot answer every call for help I hear. There are more heroes around the area”

“None of them want to help us! They say they cannot face an army” He continued still kneeling “Please I beg you lady Brighid, we need you”

Daiyousei narrowed her eyes, nobody around here knew Yuuka’s actual name, much less pronounce it. She replied in sylvan “Kid, Derg should take care of your kingdom for all I care”

“We are not in his kingdom, our lord is dead, our land has been conquered and we had been enslaved by the undead”

Daiyousei wanted to help, but what could she do? Throw stones at the army? Blind them with a flash of light? Maybe make them trip with grass. “Accept your fate then child, I already have to take care of my own land” she turned around

“They said you would be afraid… The Litch King let me go, he said you would never come to face him” He said that in Sylvan, that language was odd, you could never lie in Sylvan, if you tried to the words themselves would not allow you to.

Daiyousei had been careful not to lie in Sylvan, she had to take care of her land, even if her land was just the small place, she called home. She shivered internally, and smirked at the kid with a prideful expression “That bastard thinks he can talk about me like that? Show me the way, carry my flowers”

The kid held the bouquet and guided Daiyousei out of Gensokyo, through Makai then towards a far away kingdom west from their home. One could not even call that land earth, this was a different world, even Daiyousei did not fully know how it worked, she just accepted the fact that there were other worlds.

The land was desolate, burned homes and starving farmers carrying stones to build a great wall. Daiyousei thought for a minute, of course she had to be careful because undead were hard to fool. After thinking of many plans, she decided on the most outlandish of them all, because it is exactly what Yuuka would do. She flew all the way up to the highest tower of the castle in which the undead army resided, and modified their flag using magic to have a green and red flag, with a yellow harp in the green side and a sunflower in the red side.

She then did the same with every flag and began ordering the farmers to stop carrying stones and tend to the gardens, the undead armies were baffled at the actions of this tiny woman, ordering their own slaves, completely ignoring them.

Daiyousei had to keep breaking so her nervousness would not show, luckily the undead who she was ignoring were more afraid of her than she was of them. They saw the flag; they recognized the symbols in the banner and the fact that she began treating this place as her own made them doubt their own orders and so they decided to run towards the castle.

“My leash our flags had been changed to the Dannan coat of arms!” They ran screaming to their master.

The undead necromancer tilted his head “What do you mean by that? Change them back!”

“Milord they had been changed by a fairy clad in red” they said “As red as her eyes” They could not refuse a direct order, though they knew changing the flag would put their master’s life at risk, that was their only fear.

The litch rushed out to a window and looked at the green and red banners flapping in the sky, then down at the farmers carrying soil and seeds, watering the fields. He rushed out to meet Daiyousei sitting calmly in the fields, overlooking the operation.

“Greetings good sir, sorry for the intermission but I consider such an insult to the land offensive in a personal degree. Thus I will be claiming this land as mine, any questions?” She turned to face him with a wide smile

“We leave your lands alone lady, let me grow my empire in peace we pose no threat to you” he said

She laughed “Yes but what you do to the earth is disgusting”

“Then we will make sure the land remains fertile, but we need protection, we need the souls of this farmers to survive. You know how cattle farming works; we can come to a compromise” He sat besides Daiyousei looking at the ground as he spoke.

“You had lands what happened to them?” She asked

“A demon army came and took it away from us, their capital was destroyed and thus they needed resources, resources they decided to take from us. We could not fight them back, so we conquered this place to claim it our own. I know you are reasonable lady; we ask to be allowed to live here if we can meet your demands”

Daiyousei waved away the king “Sir you had your chance and lost it, why would I buy the idea of a demon army anyway?”

The litch looked up, the purple lights in his empty sockets looked deep into Daiyousei “Because you are the one who destroyed their capital. But you do not know that…” He began to laugh

Daiyousei floated up laughing “I know that but why would I care?!”

The litch looked around “Moreover… I made a threat and your only response was laughter. I see it now, you are not Brighid, you are someone else”

She gulped, he used a dispel on her flight and made her plummet to the ground “So lady this is how it is, you are not the princess of the Dannan”

“I am a Dannan princess!” She yelled out loud “I am the eldest of the children of Dagda second king of the fairies, twin sister of Brighid herself. I am Midir and I will have no mercy upon you!”

He chuckled “I don’t need your mercy child, I know of you, the little disappointment of the Dannan family, the one who always lived in Brighid’s shadow”

“If you hurt me she will come back to do to you what you did to me tenfold”

“That is if she finds out” He laughed “But I guess she does not know you are here impersonating her, or else she would had not let you tarnish her image like that”

A stone was thrown at his head, three farmers then launched at him using their tools to attempt to hurt him. The king quickly killed them though this short distraction allowed Daiyousei to fly up again.

She then looked at the castle, its doors were opened, and under the throne a large trunk, she turned herself invisible and flew towards that trunk, she began hitting the lock with her umbrella, the lock was unscathed at the first hit, though the umbrella was not, of course not, it was a replica.

Daiyousei though took one of the wires from the umbrella and began picking the lock, she opened it to find a large skull filled with jewels on it, she punched it, then felt the pain of hitting precious stones with her bare hands.

She thought for a moment, then remembered something, fairy blood can heal, she used the same wire to sever one of her wrists and began to pour said blood upon the skull, a curdling scream came from the outside, the king rushed back inside, though he did not even manage to take more than two steps before his body began to decompose and turn to dust. Daiyousei turned visible again, her wound slowly healing, though she was too harmed to keep the illusion.

The guards inside the place looked at her and dropped their weapons, they rushed out screaming. It was already clear she was not Yuuka, but she had just killed their leader, self-preservation was the only thing driving them now, and Daiyousei was a threat to them.

The flags returned to their former dark colors, her eyes turned green again, she was drained. Outside the people began to cheer they poured into the castle and lifted Daiyousei up into the air cheering her name, her actual name.

Pork tomatillo stew

Yeah yeah this isn’t touhou related… But know what? This is my website and I think you will all like this recipe. It’s fairly common to find this with a few variations in Hidalgo Mexico, usually served with beans and tortillas (corn).

So we begin with a kilo of tomatillo (the smaller the better), half a kilo of pork, 7 nopales (maybe more or less depending on size, mine were medium, about the size of my hand). So here we have the ingredients.

Here we remember we have to drink water, add half a pineapple you have in the fridge because why not. Yeah this wasn’t in the plan but it’s how cooking often turns out, you make one thing and end up making two.

Some frozen strawberries. Look at the beautiful assemble

Okay we overcrowded the blender… So we divide it into two to blend.

Okay finally blended! Now to add honey, sugar and of course more water (this is for 4 liters)

Okay the shot is done (that glass is for mom) now to serve myself with a less pretty but more sturdy glass since I’ll be in the kitchen dancing around.

So now we cut the nopales, for those who had never minced a nopal before don’t worry. You make parallel cuts but DO NOT CUT THE EDGE, nopales are slippery and gooey, you are welcome to not listen to my advice but believe me you’ll regret it.

Put them in a pressure cooker with just enough water to cover them

Just a nice shot of my water container, nice talavera

Now to mince the pork (it was in the white container) since it was still a little frozen I needed to bring in the big knife. It can be any cut you want, quite literally I went to the butcher shop and asked for a hunk of pork meat, froze it until I needed it, at first I wanted to make pork gorditas but with nopales is way healthier and tastier (also takes 4 more hours to make, don’t worry most of it is waiting time).

Of course it can cut it, bought the cheapest cleaver I could find on amazon, used a wetstone to sharpen it, not my best knife but it’s great for what it is. I use it mostly to cut large vegetables, on friday I used it to make pumpkin candy it was perfect for cutting a large castilla pumpkin.

Now we get a pot searing hot (left a small piece of pork as tester)

Once the oil is ripping hot put the rest of the pork and let it brown a little

While the meat browns it’s time to cool off the pressure cooker (you can let it cool off on its own) a neat trick is to put it under cold water so the pressure drops. The indicator valve has to drop down, a pressure cooker is at supercritical conditions if you want to know what supercritical water steam is like check a video on youtube, don’t try this at home because that’s how you end up in Chubbyemu videos.

As a small parenthesis, critical conditions is the point at which a fluid and its steam have the same density, meaning that there are water droplets floating freely in the mix. Supercritical means you are beyond those conditions, open the pressure cooker or take off the security valve and the water droplets of literally boiling water are going to get out at a high pressure (duh) and if you are lucky leave your kitchen in a very dirty state. Pressure cookers are a beautiful thing but please be very careful when using them

While we still wait for the pork to brown (hey it was frozen it will take a long time) put the tomatillos in a comal (cast iron grill very normally used in Mexican cuisine) or in that ugly pan or pot you don’t care about. We will let them roast, usually people do not use tongs or tools of any kind to flip things in a comal, I recommend you use something, to learn that ability is something that requires years of practice… and a lot of ointment.

Okay finally our pork has browned! Don’t mind if there is little fond, you will get more soon. This is a stew and the meat has to be so tender you can break it with your tongue

Well to get that tenderness we will need to boil the meat in a lot of water, for this, about a kilo of pork I used 2 cups of water, add enough water to cover your meat, then add another cup for good measure.

Now we wait… During that wait we flip our roasted tomatillos, once the color of the skin that isn’t burned turns a darker shade of brown they are ready, note not all will be ready at the same time so it’s a slow process of turning and waiting, you can take a shortcut and just boil them but honestly the roast gives the stew a nice smoky flavor.

Once the tomatillos are roasted we add the secret ingredient! It’s not really a secret, since this is a very typical dish in the area of Hidalgo my family is from. It’s called Rallado, a chile that only grows in a far away town called Progreso, you grow it anywhere else the taste is off and it doesn’t taste as spicy. As a note to those who manage to get a hold of it, it’s way spicier than a chipotle, add them to your sauce one by one and taste it. If you don’t have access to this small chile you can use dried chipotles (canned is fine too) and roast them (yeah you cannot roast the canned ones sadly). Roast them lightly, believe me you will know when they are ready, after all you are roasting chiles, actually it’s a common flu remedy here too not a punishment like they said in the Mendoza Codex (maybe it was but now the chancla is the punishment, burning chiles is a flu remedy).

Now everything is done… Well everything but the meat, well we wait for it to boil off all the water

And wait… Oh wait I forgot to blend the chiles and tomatillo!

Now that everything is done we go back to waiting

Okay that will take a long time… May as well get myself comfortable (British friends please forgive me but good gin is is very expensive here)

Let’s see… Nope okay back to waiting

And waiting

And waiting

Oh hey look if I wait for long enough my phone will realize this is Mexican themed and put that annoying yellow filter on my glass! Well here is proof, Mexico isn’t sepia it’s technology.

Almooost

Okay now it’s ready!

After the meat has properly cooked, now we add the salsa and our cooked nopales. Do not add raw nopales, they will let the goo out inside your stew and make the sauce gooey.

For spices you add marjoram, pepper, oregano and cumin, about half a teaspoon of each maybe even a cube of bouillon in there. Salt it until the very end when the thing is almost ready. Right besides it is the candied pumpkin.

Let this on high heat until it boils, then lower it to let it simmer with the lid for 3-4 hours. Everything up until the simmer is done with high heat.

If you feel like cooking this but want to vary it a little feel free to comment, I’ll gladly help

Food porn

Oddly enough I do not like to take pictures of food, though I do love to cook. I learned very little, mom was working all day long and grandma’s bones did not allow her to do much during the day, so cooking was something I had to learn, it could had been just a couple eggs and that would be it, though I preferred to do a stir fry, which grandma still loves to this day, and serve the meal.

Then came high school, it was abroad so it was either eating whatever was served in the cafeteria or up my cooking game, there I learned how to bake, how to boil because until now I was used to stir fry, a man a pot and I was happy, there I learned other things. College was a vacation for my cooking, though work soon brought back the need to prepare food.

My first work was selling wood, it was not the best salary and it was stressful, so I took cooking again, it was not only helping me save, it was helping me remain sane. All my skills now were honed into a single goal, relaxation.

Cooking is not that different from love, you do it only for people you care for in a certain degree, to nourish those near you. Though it is also there to please, to brag, to show off and of course to earn money. It has some degree of lust, of pride not only gluttony. I don’t take pictures because I don’t cook for the camera, I cook for myself, for my family and for people I care, even in that regard I am as prudish as I am in bed. After all what are Chefs but Porn Stars for their own particular type of porn?

Interview with the shrine maiden of paradise

Aya: Uhm… Nobody has ever accepted an interview…

Reimu: I mean. Let’s be honest here. You would have forced the interview on me. I decided to take the initiative.

Aya: Well thank you for accepting! Tell me how did your family begin hunting youkai?

Reimu

Reimu: To be honest, I don’t have much of a clue. This would probably be a more appropriate question for the Hieda clan if you want an answer. All I know for certain is that the Hakurei shrine maiden has been hunting youkai since the boundary was created.

Aya: It was even before from what I can remember but you weren’t the only ones just the best. Do you think the Hakurei Orb influenced that?

Reimu: I don’t really call it the Hakurei Orb, just Yin-Yang Orb or the Orb for short. But I guess you call it that since it’s the Hakurei deity’s vessel… I have no idea how to answer your question. If I knew the deity of our clan I would be better informed. Your theory makes a lot of sense.

Aya: There had always been more youkai hunters. You are the only one who does it regardless of who is it. Don’t you feel scared?

Reimu: Well that’s a bit personal don’t you think? Well I guess a little bit, but it comes with the job. The fear never goes away completely but it’s a lot more of a casual stroll than something to stress out about if that makes sense.

Aya: I understand your fear I am a youkai and sometimes I get scared. Do you somehow feel safer with the spell card rules?

Reimu: The spell card rules are based around fair play. Humans and youkai require each other to survive but if strong youkai eat everything in sight, youkai will die off before long. So the spellcard was invented to equalize the playing field for both humankind and weaker youkai. It’s a survival tool for Gensokyo’s sake not just humans.

Aya: Yeah even though some wouldn’t admit it, humans are needed. Do you think this secret relationships would be better if they were official?

Reimu: Probably not. Youkai can’t even get along with themselves. If youkai and humans lived openly among each other without exception, youkai would become soft and lose purpose while humans would have no sanctuary to call home. It wouldn’t benefit anyone really, but that’s just what I imagine.

Aya: I have to admit you are right… Does your family have a history with the wars before the great unification? Or you were always neutral?

Reimu: I told you, I don’t know anything about my family before the border was created. I can only say we were on humanity’s side after the border was created, by necessity.

Aya: I mean you have youkai alliances that go back from even before the border… I am getting out of track. So you don’t care about the past, you just care about people?

Reimu: If you want to call it that, sure. I care about people in general.

Aya: So your family has chosen the path of Mercy. Is your deity a Bodhisattva? Or are tengu right and it is Amaterasu?

Reimu: I don’t know who my deity is, but I doubt it’s a prominent one like Amaterasu. I am a shrine maiden not the Japanese emperor. No, I’m sure whoever they are, they are probably a hidden deity like Okina. I guess

Aya: Or maybe it is major in a different culture. Who knows really. Have you tried to reach for your deity? Does it like a heretic like Marisa?

Reimu: You can’t really be a heretic to a deity you don’t even know that well. And of course I have tried! No one’s been able to have a meaningful conversation with them yet!

Aya: Getting black out drunk is not meditating Reimu. Maybe ask Hijiri or Kasen? Have you asked Kasen? I mean seriously why does a youkai know about the Hakurei shrine so much?!

Reimu: Then interview her! Stop wasting my time with questions I already told you I don’t know, birdbrain!!!

Aya: I tried and she didn’t let me. Now tell me why don’t youkai just eat you?

Reimu: Because I let them and it scares them away. Why do you think?! I maintain the shrine that keeps everyone alive. No one is going to eat me. I even helped made the spell cards so they wouldn’t have to resort to doing it!

Aya: There are youkai who are mad… Let’s say why does Yuuka refrain herself from feasting on your flesh, she certainly doesn’t care about humans

Reimu: I have no idea. Maybe she doesn’t want the Human Village to die out? She scares a lot of people who venture outside the Village so it’s not really in her best interest to eat them all. But I hardly talk to Yuuka these days. You should ask her if you ever feel emboldened.

Aya: I’d rather stick my foot in a beehive… Why does Yukari like you so much?

Reimu: You think she likes me? I guess a little bit. She shows up to hang out more often than she does for most humans, but really it’s not different than how she spends a lot of time doing business with the Kourin guy. It’s probably nothing.

Aya: People who should hate you love you… Marisa out of all people was sent to kill you. What’s up with that?

Reimu: I am just as confused as you are. Everyone who tried to beat me up ends up having a tea party with me in the end. I am told by Human Villages this is not normal behavior.

Aya: Yeah usually it ends up in a total war and people losing limbs or cursing each other. Do you think you have a luck blessing?

Reimu: I think it’s possible. I have been told I have a sixth sense for these things or… something.

Aya: Without training? Wasn’t your mom the woman who never flushed the toilet, she scared the shit out of it?

Reimu: We use a pit latrine. Is this even news anymore?

Aya: Wait you do? How primitive, do you still use flints to start fires?!

Reimu: I use kerosine and kerosine accessories. This interview’s going in some odd directions.

Aya: Fossil fuels? Not even biodiesel?! Unga bunga!

Reimu: Unga bugga off, stupid crow

Aya: You are still in the fossil fuel age! Not even induction cooking I was just making a joke hahahahaha!!!!

Reimu: Yeah. Good one. Why did I agree to this interview… I regret it already.

Aya: Do you even know what microwave heating is? Oh wow… humans being this backwards is so… HAHAHAHAHA! OH GODS MY SIDES!

Reimu: Just stop the interview before I [redacted] your [redacted] neck for [redacted] days on end until you cry out for mercy, begging for complete extermination!

Aya: Oh so barbaric! Just like a wild animal

Reimu: Why you little [redacted]—-! Aaaaaggh!!! Come here! Let me [redacted] you until you scream, little bird!!]

Prologue: I woke up 3 days later in Eientei, thankfully my notes were still with me, so the interview could be retrieved. Reimu indeed made me scream.

Summer anti-sonnet (Submitted by Kazami Yuuka)

All warfare is based on deception

punishment? Into blood,

utmost importance that the material

the seed itself leaf is furnished

Method and discipline to absorb food

we must young plant

general that hearkens quickening sunbeam

young plant to the stage labour of plants

Plants differ in your deliberations

Seeds are storehouses no plan can feed

plants which flower reserve of nutriment

store of nutriment most ability

circumstances are favorable

vital importance victory or defeat