Aya: Uhm… Nobody has ever accepted an interview…
Reimu: I mean. Let’s be honest here. You would have forced the interview on me. I decided to take the initiative.
Aya: Well thank you for accepting! Tell me how did your family begin hunting youkai?
Reimu
Reimu: To be honest, I don’t have much of a clue. This would probably be a more appropriate question for the Hieda clan if you want an answer. All I know for certain is that the Hakurei shrine maiden has been hunting youkai since the boundary was created.
Aya: It was even before from what I can remember but you weren’t the only ones just the best. Do you think the Hakurei Orb influenced that?
Reimu: I don’t really call it the Hakurei Orb, just Yin-Yang Orb or the Orb for short. But I guess you call it that since it’s the Hakurei deity’s vessel… I have no idea how to answer your question. If I knew the deity of our clan I would be better informed. Your theory makes a lot of sense.
Aya: There had always been more youkai hunters. You are the only one who does it regardless of who is it. Don’t you feel scared?
Reimu: Well that’s a bit personal don’t you think? Well I guess a little bit, but it comes with the job. The fear never goes away completely but it’s a lot more of a casual stroll than something to stress out about if that makes sense.
Aya: I understand your fear I am a youkai and sometimes I get scared. Do you somehow feel safer with the spell card rules?
Reimu: The spell card rules are based around fair play. Humans and youkai require each other to survive but if strong youkai eat everything in sight, youkai will die off before long. So the spellcard was invented to equalize the playing field for both humankind and weaker youkai. It’s a survival tool for Gensokyo’s sake not just humans.
Aya: Yeah even though some wouldn’t admit it, humans are needed. Do you think this secret relationships would be better if they were official?
Reimu: Probably not. Youkai can’t even get along with themselves. If youkai and humans lived openly among each other without exception, youkai would become soft and lose purpose while humans would have no sanctuary to call home. It wouldn’t benefit anyone really, but that’s just what I imagine.
Aya: I have to admit you are right… Does your family have a history with the wars before the great unification? Or you were always neutral?
Reimu: I told you, I don’t know anything about my family before the border was created. I can only say we were on humanity’s side after the border was created, by necessity.
Aya: I mean you have youkai alliances that go back from even before the border… I am getting out of track. So you don’t care about the past, you just care about people?
Reimu: If you want to call it that, sure. I care about people in general.
Aya: So your family has chosen the path of Mercy. Is your deity a Bodhisattva? Or are tengu right and it is Amaterasu?
Reimu: I don’t know who my deity is, but I doubt it’s a prominent one like Amaterasu. I am a shrine maiden not the Japanese emperor. No, I’m sure whoever they are, they are probably a hidden deity like Okina. I guess
Aya: Or maybe it is major in a different culture. Who knows really. Have you tried to reach for your deity? Does it like a heretic like Marisa?
Reimu: You can’t really be a heretic to a deity you don’t even know that well. And of course I have tried! No one’s been able to have a meaningful conversation with them yet!
Aya: Getting black out drunk is not meditating Reimu. Maybe ask Hijiri or Kasen? Have you asked Kasen? I mean seriously why does a youkai know about the Hakurei shrine so much?!
Reimu: Then interview her! Stop wasting my time with questions I already told you I don’t know, birdbrain!!!
Aya: I tried and she didn’t let me. Now tell me why don’t youkai just eat you?
Reimu: Because I let them and it scares them away. Why do you think?! I maintain the shrine that keeps everyone alive. No one is going to eat me. I even helped made the spell cards so they wouldn’t have to resort to doing it!
Aya: There are youkai who are mad… Let’s say why does Yuuka refrain herself from feasting on your flesh, she certainly doesn’t care about humans
Reimu: I have no idea. Maybe she doesn’t want the Human Village to die out? She scares a lot of people who venture outside the Village so it’s not really in her best interest to eat them all. But I hardly talk to Yuuka these days. You should ask her if you ever feel emboldened.
Aya: I’d rather stick my foot in a beehive… Why does Yukari like you so much?
Reimu: You think she likes me? I guess a little bit. She shows up to hang out more often than she does for most humans, but really it’s not different than how she spends a lot of time doing business with the Kourin guy. It’s probably nothing.
Aya: People who should hate you love you… Marisa out of all people was sent to kill you. What’s up with that?
Reimu: I am just as confused as you are. Everyone who tried to beat me up ends up having a tea party with me in the end. I am told by Human Villages this is not normal behavior.
Aya: Yeah usually it ends up in a total war and people losing limbs or cursing each other. Do you think you have a luck blessing?
Reimu: I think it’s possible. I have been told I have a sixth sense for these things or… something.
Aya: Without training? Wasn’t your mom the woman who never flushed the toilet, she scared the shit out of it?
Reimu: We use a pit latrine. Is this even news anymore?
Aya: Wait you do? How primitive, do you still use flints to start fires?!
Reimu: I use kerosine and kerosine accessories. This interview’s going in some odd directions.
Aya: Fossil fuels? Not even biodiesel?! Unga bunga!
Reimu: Unga bugga off, stupid crow
Aya: You are still in the fossil fuel age! Not even induction cooking I was just making a joke hahahahaha!!!!
Reimu: Yeah. Good one. Why did I agree to this interview… I regret it already.
Aya: Do you even know what microwave heating is? Oh wow… humans being this backwards is so… HAHAHAHAHA! OH GODS MY SIDES!
Reimu: Just stop the interview before I [redacted] your [redacted] neck for [redacted] days on end until you cry out for mercy, begging for complete extermination!
Aya: Oh so barbaric! Just like a wild animal
Reimu: Why you little [redacted]—-! Aaaaaggh!!! Come here! Let me [redacted] you until you scream, little bird!!]
Prologue: I woke up 3 days later in Eientei, thankfully my notes were still with me, so the interview could be retrieved. Reimu indeed made me scream.
Editorial 